![]() How much does your family name mean to you? In some cultures your name was your very definition in society. While in other places it is just a few letters strung together to make it easier to find you in the phone book (Do people even use those anymore?). Some people are proud of their family name and obnoxiously advertise it loud and clear like a neon sign in Las Vegas. However, there are many people who feel a bit embarrassed by their family name for a plethora of reasons and choose to hide it in shame behind lock and key. We live in world that is growing more and more pluralistic and smashed together. What was once called a broken family is now being accepted as functional. Family names become of less value as families continue to divorce, fight and break apart. Children are forced to choose sides between mommy and daddy or who knows who else. There are multiple family names living under one household and none of them carry any particular weight over another. This type of societal shift lends it hand to obvious confusion and a laundry list of problems. Marriage and family clearly do not have the same value it once did in society. All of the family issues that were eluded to above are all issues that the church has inherited. Broken families teach children early and often that trust, stability, and commitment are just not important today. And what we see now is horribly broken and dysfunctional churches that mirror the families that inhabit them. No one at any point in history ever believed the church was or could be perfect. But what we are witnessing is an epidemic that is spiritually deadly. Church is no longer a safe space to a younger generation in desperate need of so many things that the church once offered. It is under these conditions we are asking young single adults to find their life partner and raise families. A church family can be defined by saying the group in which you choose to worship with and share life with in a Christian manner. The first part of that definition is simple. Every weekend you will see millions of people all over the world getting together to “worship.” But how many people beyond that actually share life together. I think it is safe to say not too many. If more church people learned to love and share life with each other better, I guarantee less money will be spent on therapy, counseling, lawyers or prescription drugs and more money would be spent on missions, helping those in need and so on and so forth. There was a day when before I would want to ask a girl out from another church I would find out all I could about that church. I could learn a lot about who she was simply by knowing a few things about where she worshiped. It may sound somewhat judgmental and shallow, but in too many instances, it was dead on accurate and essential information. And likewise, she would ask me about my church background as well. Although this is still a common practice for many young Christians, I am seeing more and more couples asking less question about church and beliefs and more about other things. I am not sure how many times I would ask a couple if they agree on the same church/theological values and they would smile with glittery eyes and say “Oh, it doesn’t matter. We both love Jesus and that’s all we need. All that other stuff is just fluff.” Hmmm... They must be nondenominational. So, how much do you value your family name? How much do you value your church family name you are a part of? Are you committed to any of those names? Or does it even matter? I used to be embarrassed of my title of Christian. That has now changed, and I am proud to wear Christ’s name. I used to believe that church denominations were wrong and would fight hard to not be a part of them. Although I still do not like what they often represent, I would rather have those names then a generation of people who couldn’t tell you what they believed or stay committed to anything. It is often all this fear of commitment that keep couples in the church from ever dating to begin with unless they think the found the "perfect" man, woman or church!
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LUKE R ELIE Archives
February 2021
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